Thought I’d start a little series about some of my golfing pet peeves. After a couple of decades of playing this frustrating game, I’ve gathered quite a few.

I know that this is totally unoriginal. Every blog on the planet has some kind of numbered list of blah, blah, blah these days. Props to Stuff White People Like for starting this trend. Onward with the fun:

Golf Pet-Peeve #1: The shot-by-shot recap golfer. You know this dude. We’ve all played a round with him before.

Usually, the shot-by-shot recap golfer is a nice guy–a really nice guy. Chatty, even.  He means well.

fuzzy zoeller

Why do I get the feeling Fuzzy is a shot-by-shot recap golfer? (Image: fox6pix)

But, man, if this guy isn’t intent on telling you the specifics of every single shot on every single hole. It’s bad enough when the shot-by-shot recap golfer is actually a good player. Sometimes, it’s even interesting: I wouldn’t mind listening to a friend recap his theatrical birdie on the 17th at Sawgrass. That’s nice to hear. Makes me want to birdie the 17th myself.

But really bad golfers who are intent on telling you about their snowman on a 320 yard par four? No, thank you. I do not find it interesting, in the least, to hear about your sliced tee shot, flubbed three wood, topped four iron, topped eight iron, bladed wedge, and your two skulled bunker shots and five-foot saving putt for quadruple bogey. Please…no.

Maybe I’m just jealous. I don’t have that type of memory. I can probably remember half of my 81 shots yesterday, so maybe these dudes that remember every single duck hook and yip from their 122 in March make me jealous. Maybe.

One of the greatest traditions in golf is the 19th hole—the tradition of enjoying a cold brew with a friend and discussing (read: exaggerating) the highlights of the round. But, remember, unless you just shot a 59 or beat Tiger Woods in match play, no one wants a shot-by-shot recap of your round.

Keep it simple and short. Don’t be that guy.

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