Right off the club, you know it’s going to be a bad shot.
The ball starts left, continues hooking left, and disappears into the thick woods 15 yards left of the fairway. You’re frustrated, maybe even a little pissed. This hook has been driving you crazy.
Wannabe Golf Instructors take headshots of themselves. (Image: unfoo/Flickr)
As you reach down to pick up your tee, you hear a voice behind you: “Know what you did wrong there, don’t you? Your stance is too narrow, and you’re not keeping your head down. And that grip of yours. Look at that grip.”
Huh? Yes, welcome to Golf Pet Peeve #12: The Wannabe Golf Instructor.
I think there’s two unwritten rules in golf instruction: First, never give unsolicited advice. Second, never EVER give unsolicited advice to a better golfer.
But the Wannabe Golf Instructor scoffs at such unwritten rules. The Wannabe Golf Instructor knows just enough about golf to make him dangerous.
His own golf swing has more flaws than Tim Tebow’s throwing motion, but he watches The Golf Channel religiously, making him the self-appointed mouthpiece of all things related to golf swing instruction. He’s a close relative to the The Golf Channel Guy.
He has a library of Hank Haney, Butch Harmon, and David Leadbetter instructional videos. His swing is mechanical and slow. His scores suck. He putts like a bull in a china store. And, yeah, that probably doesn’t make much sense.
The Wannabe Golf Instructor has zero self-awareness. None. The Wannabe Golf Instructor offers unsolicited golf instruction at every opportunity. Even though he averages a 98, he will freely offers poor advice to a 10 handicap on the driving range. He will sit in the bar and analyze Ernie Els’ shoulder turn and Justin Leonard’s putting stroke.
You’ll nod your head and act like your listening. That is, until he tells breaks down your swing after that nasty hook on the 4th hole. Then, you might just have to tell The Wannabe Golf Instructor to shut up. Good luck with that.
Previous Golf Pet Peeves:
#8: The Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Worker
#4: Stewart Cink’s Green Shirt
#1: The Shot-By-Shot Recap Golfer
February 5, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I had this happen to me in a round once. I was playing by myself. Having a great round. The driver was working well.
When I got to the 11th tee I had to wait for the group in front of me. I noticed a guy coming up behind me. He finished his hole just as I was about to tee off. He yelled over, “we might as well play together.”
I teed off and of course I sliced it into the adjacent fairway. The Wanna Be came out and for the rest of the round I was unwillingly under his tutorledge.
He was okay but as I look back at it I would probably beat him now. It was just one comment after another on every swing.
The good thing about the round is that it was late in the evening so we finished 17 and then went back to 7 and played from there. He was friends with the starter so we had no worries.
He ended up being a pretty good guy. After I got it in my mind I was going to have to deal with advice giving, I began to play better. I can’t be to mad at the Wanna Be though. He got me a chance to play an extra 10 holes for free.
February 5, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Funny story, Dexter. Yeah, they mean well. I guess you can’t be too mad at them.
February 10, 2010 at 10:04 am
Advice after a particularly horrid shot, “I think I noticed something. You had some crap at the end of your club.”
After he closely examines his clubhead looking for the perpetrator, “Nope, wrong end.”
February 16, 2010 at 4:52 pm
As a golf instructor I love hearing “my playing buddies say that this is what I am doing wrong” at the beginning of a lesson. Would you go see your friend Jim about financial advice even though he has little knowledge of what he is talking about? I should hope not, or at least take what says with a grain of salt and seek professional advice.
Leave golf instruction to those certified!
March 2, 2010 at 7:42 pm
I played with one of these guys a couple of months ago. I have always found pointing out how badly you are beating them usually shuts them up.
As a kid a WGI on the first tee told me my practice swing was too long and past parallel. My response was “great” and then I outdrove him by 100 yards. His buddy didn’t stop making fun of him until the turn.
March 4, 2010 at 10:39 am
[...] #12: The Wannabe Golf Instructor [...]
March 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm
[...] #12: The Wannabe Golf Instructor [...]
May 12, 2010 at 11:54 am
[...] #12: The Wannabe Golf Instructor [...]
August 1, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Great post. I couldn’t agree more with you about this. The other problem that I am sure that you will agree with is when I used to give lessons to kids, there parents would always have there kid working on something that they want. It gets very frutrating when the parents start giving out lessons just because they got there kid involved in the game of golf.