This pet peeve is about me.
I’ll admit it. I’m an overzealous rules enforcer. Heck, I even wrote a reoccurring column about golf rules on this blog a couple of years ago.
If you carry one of these in your bag, you, too, might be an overzealous rules enforcer.
For whatever reason, golf is a sport where no one bothers to follow—or even understand—the rules. I’ve met people who have been playing golf for 10 years and still don’t know what a red stake signifies.
How is that possible? To me, that’s like saying, “What is that mound of dirt in the middle of a baseball field?” How can you not know that?
Granted, there are a ton of rules in golf—a lot of them are very specific and detailed. But you’ve got to know the basics.
I’m all about fairness, you see. If we’re playing in a game or a tournament and I’m re-teeing after hitting a ball out of bounds, you better know I’m going to make sure you re-tee as well. Don’t try and drop a ball outside the white stakes. That’s not a hazard.
If I’m spotting you 5 shots (or vice versa), you can bet I will make sure you aren’t using your hand wedge in the fairway.
If you’re talking smack about beating me by a shot but dropped your ball 50 yards ahead of where it went into a water hazard, well…I’m going to call you out on that too.
I’ve been called a rules nazi, but I believe there’s a place for it.
Look, if you’re just out having a good time with some friends or family, there’s no money on the line, nothing at stake, not even bragging rights—then I can understand bending the rules a touch.
But remember to put an asterisk by your score, because if you shot an 82 with 2 mulligans, then you really didn’t shoot an 82. Would you say you scored a touchdown if you were tackled at the 5 yard line? Just sayin’. I’ve known groups of guys who go on incredible golf trips, organize these ridiculous 3 day tournaments, and then look the other way while a bunch of goobers cheat through the whole tournament and take home a few thousand bucks. Really?
When I’m playing on a busy course, I’ll usually give my playing partners anything inside 2 feet—just to help with pace of play. I think that’s fair and reasonable. But if there’s anything on the line—including bragging rights—I might not be so giving.
It’s all about the situation. The more serious the situation gets, the more strictly I will enforce the rules.
If that makes me an overzealous rules enforcer, then guilty as charged.
I am golf pet peeve #15.
Previous Golf Pet Peeves:
#12: The Wannabe Golf Instructor
#8: The Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Worker
#4: Stewart Cink’s Green Shirt
#1: The Shot-By-Shot Recap Golfer
May 12, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Reading the headline I was expecting this to be a rant on the guy who doesn’t know the rules and claims to be a rules guru.
You inadvertently hit on one of my pet peeves. Not holing out. It’s like giving points in basketball for hitting the rim or leaving 15 minutes before a movie is over.
The entire point of the game of golf it to put the little white ball in the little white hole in the fewest strokes possible. If you aren’t going to hole out why bother playing.
May 12, 2010 at 7:52 pm
To the charge of Rules Nazi I must plead guilty. The rules book, complete with yellow hi-lites, is in my bag during my amateur tournaments.
Even thought I don’t bend the rules myself, I’ll let most infractions go when playing a social round with my buddies- even when $3 is on the line. But in my eGolf Amateur Tour rounds we don’t let anything go.
The rules actually helped me once identify that my ball landed in a “borrowing animal” hole. Free drop! Yes!
Here is another interesting fact in the rules: Your ball is considered OB if the entire ball rests behind the line defined by the back of the white stakes.
May 13, 2010 at 9:05 pm
The rules are the rules. Why bother to play if you don’t follow them? As for conceding putts, if you are playing match play, it’s all a part of the game.
For my annual Myrtle Beach buddies trip, we do adopt a few local rules to speed up play (like letting people play out of bounds and lost balls with a drop and a two-shot penalty), but the more serious players all tend to play by strict rules.
May 19, 2010 at 8:35 am
Singing to the choir, brother! Some of the guys in my league used to call me “Mr. Rules”. While I know they were yanking my chain, I felt honored to have the title.
My approach is very similar to Mr. Bruce’s. Casual round with nothing on the line? Do whatever you want, just don’t try to convince me you are playing golf. Want to play for a buck a hole? USGA rules all the way unless you want to negotiate some local rules to which everyone will adhere.
I often join a twosome or threesome as a single. One of the other players inevitably seems to be striking the ball fairly well. He is pretty impressive, even from the rough. It is always disappointing when, in watching him more closely, I see him rolling the ball to get a perfect lie. I never say anything since we are not playing a match. However, I secretly hope some day I and my “9″ handicap get to play him and his “5″ handicap when the Rules of Golf apply.
May 23, 2010 at 12:28 pm
You finally did it (the one on yourself). I’m proud of you. Pet Peeve series is awesome. Hope they never stop.
May 26, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Amen!! Finally!! I need to get some of the guys from the ‘Ville involved on this conversation!!
I cannot remember how many times I heard about how poorly conceived the premise was behind the movie “Happy Gilmore” was. I don’t care if he has to “play it where is lies” behind the fallen tv tower and VW bug.
Loosen to top button on your shirt!!
June 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm
[...] #15: The Overzealous Rules Enforcer [...]
November 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I have golfed twice my entire life and kind of had my expierence ruined for me on my 2nd outing by what I considered to be an “overzelous rule enforcer”. We had a tee time of 215 on a beautiful saturday. We arrived 15 minutes early to check in and get clubs. There were 8 of us so we broke up in to 2 groups of 4 and 4. 4 of us had clubs so naturally they went ahead while the other 4 didn’t which ofcourse stayed behind to rent clubs. The gentleman running the counter must have been in his 80′s and took forever getting us our clubs. We got out there as the other 4 of us were finishing up on the first green and a group of 4 getting ready to tee off. The time must of been around 225 maybe 230 so we just skipped the first green to catch up with the other 4.
I am sure now as some of you read this you see this as me taking a dump on the virgin mary’s chest. I know one of those other guys who hadn’t teed off yet did. They proceded to chase us down just to make sure we knew that we were retards and they were genius’s of the sport. We appologized which they ofcourse could not accept and then proceded to tattle on us to one of the workers at the course who also felt it necessary to come talk to us and tell us how we have all brought our families much shame. This was not for money, this was not for trophys, I never have and never would claim to be a pro golfer. All I wanted to do was smack a ball around drink a few beers and smoke a few stogies with the boys. Apperantly you have to follow a strict code of rules to do that.
I think ill just stick to my blue collar sports.
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