So this week my wife began her 7 on/7 off shift at the hospital. That basically means she works 80 hours, including weekends, during one week, then has the next week off. On the down side, the weeks she works are very long and tiring. But on the bright side, she has every other week off…not a bad deal.
Tomorrow is my first Saturday adapting to this new schedule. So, in my wife’s absence, I’ve loaded the day with activities that only a 32-year-old golfaholic, college-football-obsessed male could appreciate.
Let’s take a look at the brilliance of September 27, 2008: the perfect man day.
6:45 a.m: Arise from slumber. Shower.
7:30 a.m: Arrive at McCabe Golf Course. Many practice swings to loosen old bones.
8:00 a.m: Tee off at McCabe, playing with Tom, Lewis, and Alex.
12:30 p.m: Putt out on 18…I’ll take a 76 since I’ve never played on this course.
1:30 p.m: Meet beautiful wife for lunch.
2:30 p.m: Return to house. Take up residence on west side of couch. Watch ESPN Gameday (recorded from this morning) at the Georgia-Alabama game. Mock Lee Corso, who inevitably will pick Bama to win.
4:00 p.m: Watch second half of Auburn-Tennessee game. Enjoy another Phil Fulmer loss and a Tennessee implosion.
6:00 p.m: Begin pacing. Determine proper angle on couch from which to watch Georgia game. East or West?
6:45 p.m: Tune to kickoff of the Georgia-Alabama game. Turn off all communication with outside world. If Bama scores first, change to another seat. Adjust lighting as needed. This is important stuff.
8:30 p.m: Welcome beautiful wife home from work. Invite her to watch game. Kiss her as she politefully declines, choosing to watch recorded season premiere of Gray’s Anatomy instead.
10:00 p.m: Celebrate 28-17 Georgia victory. High five beautiful wife, who has just finished watching Gray’s Anatomy. Yell, “Go Dawgs” and “War Eagle” as a unified family (until November 15).
11:00 p.m: Return to slumber. Dream of November 1, when Georgia will put the beatdown on Florida.
Were tomorrow a day in February, I’d be screwed. No wife around, no sports of significance on television. But the beauty of the fall will be in full force. College football and golf…two of life’s great diversions, meeting together for a perfect storm.
And to recap my predictions…a 76 on the golf course. And a 28-17 Georgia victory over Alabama. Hold me accountable, people. Hold me accountable.
Have a great weekend.