Fivesomes. Freshly areated greens. Driving range mats.  These were some of the obstacles I faced while attempting to enjoy a round of golf on Saturday. 

After deciding to sleep in, play an afternoon round, come home and watch the Vanderbilt-Auburn game, I arrived at Harpeth Hills around noon. What a freaking disaster.

Paired in a twosome, my round started uneventful enough: three greens in regulation, three two putts, and three pars. Then the fun began.

We caught up with a fivesome. Now fivesomes are technically not allowed at Harpeth Hills. But apparently these misfits slipped through. Three bags strapped onto one cart. One guy standing on the back of the cart after each shot.

Not only did these guys suck, not only could I have hit left handed shots with my putter longer than their drives, but they were just absolutely clueless. No idea of golf etiquette. They stood around chatting after every shot.

We waited on them for five holes. Granted, their was a foursome about a hole in front of them, but these idiots never even offered to let us play through. I hate public golf sometimes.

Frustrated and distracted, I made a couple of moronic three putts and short game gaffes on the front nine. And after spending a dreadfully slow two and half hours to play nine holes, shooting an abysmal 41 on sandy, bumpy, freshly areated greens, I decided to pack it in and head home.

I don’t mind playing behind bad golfers. But five bad golfers who have no etiquette and refuse to let a twosome through? That’s just public golf at its worst.

To get in a little extra practice, I thought about hitting a bag or two of balls on the range. But the driving range had been sanded in the last week, so hitting off mats was the only option. No thanks.

Just an all-around crappy day at the golf course.  My wife and I have contemplated joining a club sometime next year. After today’s mess, I’m a step closer to doing just that.

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