This Christmas, invite the Golden Bear to build a course in your backyard. (Image:MatthwJ/Flickr)

Don’t you just dream of the day when you’ll have a custom designed Jack Nicklaus golf course in your backyard?

Well, wait no more. Tear down the patio, rip up the deck, move the grill to the garage. Because for a cool million dollars, you can indulge your golf fantasies with a three-hole track designed by one of the game’s greatest golfers–right in the comfort of your backyard.

Neiman Marcus has teamed with the Golden Bear to offer this Christmas gift for golfers who have apparently run out of things to spend their money on. Yeah, Wal-Mart and Target offer golf nets and cheap indoor putting greens. Neiman Marcus…um, they sell golf courses.

Says Neiman Marcus:

Jack will study topography, aerial photos, and landscape maps for the site, then send his team to survey the property. He’ll create a formal design plan and color renderings for up to three holes and a practice area, depending on the size of your back forty. Your construction crew builds from it, with supervision from Jack’s world-class design team (the same team pursued by premier club owners worldwide). Now to sink the winning putt; when your course is finished, the Golden Bear himself will stop by to play the first round with you, personally. More? He’ll sign his club and ball for your collection and throw in a custom set of Nicklaus clubs, including a personalized bag.

Oh, and if you visit the page, notice the copy at the bottom: “Construction and site preparation costs not included.” Probably another hundy thousand or two for that.

I’m picturing Jack’s design on my property, if I had an extra million to blow. The first hole, a 12 yard par 3 over a water drain. The second, an uphill 15-yard, dogleg right par 4 around a magnolia tree. And the finishing hole, a 14 yard par 4 with OB right and barking weiner dog left. I think I could take Jack on this baby.

I make fun, but I’d love to see this course once it’s finished. I just can’t fathom having the resources to do this. Let’s hope the crazed golfer who makes this purchase actually does have the resources to do this and isn’t cleaning out the mutual funds and taking out an exorbant HELOC loan. Golfers are a crazy breed, so you never know.

So you have less than three months. Start saving now.

Think I’m joking? Read more from Neiman Marcus.