Game Under Repair by Robert Bruce

Grand National named the number one public course by Golf World readers. (Image: DJ Damian/Flickr)

So I’m ashamed to say that I lived in Birmingham for three years and never played any of the Robert Trent Jones courses. Seriously, that’s sad.

Now, granted, I was at the peak of my burnout phase during that time. I’d just as soon sew a quilt all day than play a round of golf. But, nonetheless, I must have had serious issues to not play any of these tracks.

Grand National and Capitol Hill were named the top two public courses by the readers of Golf World Magazine. You can see the list here.

The Robert Trent Jones trail is a mecca for many a golfer, much like Pinehurst in North Carolina. If you’re ever in the vicinity, get yourself to an RTJ course. Don’t be an idiot, like me.

Image: MatthwJ/Flickr

The L.A. Times recently reported that, in a nutshell, Jack Nicklaus thinks the current FedEx Cup playoff system is a bunch of crap.

Says the Golden Bear, “Did they play that this year? I didn’t watch a second of it. Two years in a row, it was basically over before the Tour Championship was even played, and that doesn’t make sense.”

You know you’ve got a B.S. system in place when the game’s greatest ambassador believes it’s a joke. This is what we call a public relations nightmare for the PGA Tour.

“They still have some tweaking to do,” Nicklaus said. “It has a tendency to take away from the rest of the tour events. It’s always, ‘He’s got X-amount of FedEx Cup points.’ A guy doesn’t give a rat about FedEx points, he cares about how he’s playing.”

Let’s hope Commissioner Finchem is listening. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I would love to see the FedEx Cup come down to a 32 man match play tournament at the Tour Championship. I’m sure that will never happen, just like we’ll never have a playoff in college football. But a man can dream, can’t he?

[clearspring_widget title=”Tonight Show with Jay Leno – undefined” wid=”4727a250e66f9723″ pid=”48f7602d41f67a4b” width=”384″ height=”283″ domain=”widgets.nbc.com”]

A few years ago, one of my co-workers had surgery to remove a cyst in her brain. Fortunately, the mass wasn’t cancerous and she fully recovered after a few months off the job. But, an interesting note: she came back with pictures…of the surgery…on her brain…while it was exposed.

TANGENT WARNING: Let me ask you this: If a co-worker who just had brain surgery asks if you want to see pictures, is it polite to turn her down? I’m a nice guy, so I said, “Of course. I’d love to see your pictures.” The following five minutes played out in slow motion. I remember some images of a metal clamp and fluid. To say that I nearly passed out is an understatement. Heroically, I made it through the ghastly photo session.

But, man, brain surgery freaks me out even more these days. The thought of having someone open my skull, stick stuff in it, and close it back up absolutely horrifies me. I’m a wimp when it comes to medical procedures…”white coat syndrome,” so to speak.

So when I put myself in Seve Ballesteros’ place–or really anyone who deals with this every day across the world–my heart goes out to them. The fear, the uncertainty, must be taxing–especially if they don’t have faith in God.

But there’s good news: AP reported that Ballesteros is in stable condition after having a tumor removed yesterday. No word yet on whether the mass is malignant or benign.

Let’s just pray that Seve, like my former co-worker, will fully heal and have the photos to prove it. Get well soon, Seve.

Reported in today’s Telegraph Online: The world’s most famous golf course is in danger, if you believe the warnings of climate change experts.

Image: Scottish Nomad/Flickr

In a recent report detailing the effects of climate change on Scotland’s future, Professor Jan Bebbington, the director of the St. Andrews Sustainability Institute, said the old course could be destroyed by storm surges brought on by climate change–unless some type of protection is developed.

Ultimately, the report warns, the course could sink into the sea by 2050. “There is a lot of coastal erosion going on already because of stronger storms,” she said. “I wanted to use something iconic to demonstrate what we stand to lose.”

St. Andrews is definitely an icon in Scotland. So let’s hope these experts are wrong. Or, at the very least, some defenses are put in place.

The Old Course is one of the seven public course I recently listed as must-plays before I die. If Professor Bebbington is right, I have 42 years to get with it.

Welcome to week five of Chip Shots. What exactly is “Chip Shots,” you say?

Well, have you ever been on a golf course and had the sudden urge to explain a dangling participle to one of your fellow golfers? Of course you have.

Or, perhaps, while you were fumbling through your explanation of said dangling participle, did you mistakenly play the wrong ball, or (gasp!) ground your club in a lateral hazard? I know; silly question. Don’t we all?

Ah, yes, you’re at the right place. No participles are dangling in this week’s column, but I will venture into the crazy, chaotic world of which versus that. (For a quick summary of what this column is about, go here. Or to see past Chip Shots columns, visit here.)

But, first, let’s talk golf rules.

Don’t Dare Ground That Club

So this is like Golf Rules 101, a rule I learned early in my playing days.

Why do I get the feeling this guy broke a rule or two?

But I can’t say everyone knows this one, or either they simply choose not to follow it. Whatever the case, let me say this: Don’t ground your club in a bunker.

Pretty basic stuff, really. But, unless the public course down the street has a local rule I’m not aware of, every other golfer out there either chooses to ignore this basic rule or simply doesn’t know it.

Come on. As I’ve said before, if you’re breaking the fundamental rules of the game, then don’t brag about your score–or simply don’t even keep score–because it’s not legit. And let’s hope you’re not turning in these scores as part of your handicap. Shame. Shame.

Rule 13-4 in the USGA handbook says you can’t ground the club in a hazard or bunker. So you probably should not do that. Don’t move a loose impediment, either. Michelle Wie learned about that the hard way.

I’m really not a rules nazi. If you want to break the rules, then go for it. But I simply get annoyed when golfers boast about their scores after four or five rules were broken over the course of the round. You don’t have to be a Tour player to know, and follow, the basics.

Speaking of the basics, what about grammar?

Which versus That

This grammar rule is a little more technical than some of my past topics, but I’ll do my best to sufficiently explain.

That belongs in restrictive clauses. To quote my grammar hero, Grammar Girl: “A restrictive clause is just part of a sentence that you can’t get rid of because it specifically restricts some other part of the sentence.”

Here’s an example: Driving ranges that use golf mats suck.

So, you see, the phrasing “that use golf mats” restricts the driving ranges I’m talking about to those that use the fake turf which jars my shoulder after every swing. Without that phrase, I’d simply be saying “Driving ranges suck.” Not true, of course, and completely changes the meaning of the sentence.

Make sense? I’m specifically saying that the driving ranges that use mats suck, not the other, more cool, driving ranges. The that clause helps me emphasize that opinion.

Which belongs in nonrestrictive clauses.

Back to our friend, Grammar Girl, who says, “A nonrestrictive clause is something that can be left off without changing the meaning of the sentence.”

An example: Pebble Beach Golf Club, which is ranked the number one public course in the world, is a spectacular layout designed by Jack Neville and Douglas Grant.

In this sentence, you could take out the nonrestrictive clause (“which is ranked…”) without changing the meaning. Follow?

Think of nonrestrictive clauses as a parenthetical, something you would put in parentheses. You can live without them, but they may add a little to your copy as well.

So that’s it for week five. Feel free to post your much-valued thoughts and opinions below. Or email me at robert.bruce@gameunderrepair.com.

Image: sorluciacaram/Flickr

This has already been covered on every golf blog in the nation, probably. But, being out of town this weekend, my blogging time was quite limited.

Golfing legend Seve Ballestoros, 51, has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. According to the BBC, Ballesteros will undergo a biopsy tomorrow to determine a course of treatment.

Ballesteros owned European golf in the 1980s, and he was one of the most prominent golfers in the States as well. He won five majors in a span of nine years: the ’79, ’84, and ’88 British Open, and the ’80 and ’83 Masters.

Best wishes to Seve and his family as they forge through this battle.

I'll be here on Saturday...(Image: Jason McCay/Flickr)

The golf game takes a back seat this weekend. I’m returning back to my home state, Georgia, to partake in one of life’s greatest distractions, watching football.

Friday evening, I left Nashville for my parent’s house in Cartersville, Georgia. On Saturday morning, I’ll be leaving Cartersville for God’s country–Athens, Georgia–to attend the Georgia-Tennessee game with my brother in a sold-out Sanford Stadium.

...and here on Sunday. (Image:ucumari/Flickr)

On Sunday, I’ll be in attendance at the supposedly “sold-out” Georgia Dome when the surprising 3-2 Atlanta Falcons host the 3-2 Chicago Bears. Could the Falcons improve to 4-2? Could 8 wins be possible? Playoffs?

When we moved from Atlanta in March, I knew we would miss our friends, my family, and our amazing church…but little did I realize how much I would miss Atlanta sports. I guess I should have known.

Giving up my Atlanta Falcons season tickets–yes, I cheered for them through the misery of the post-Vick era–was no fun. And, certainly, forgoing the two Georgia games that I annually attended was painful as well.

I guess I just figured the Sunday NFL Ticket package and all the televised Georgia games would easily replace attending the games and being in the thick of UGA craziness in Atlanta. But I’m in Vol Land now, enemy territory. Heck, I’m really in Vandy Land these days. Nashville is nuts for the 5-0 Commodores.

I can watch the games from hundreds of miles away, and I can read the articles on the internet, but nothing replaces being there. So this weekend, I’m putting golf on the backburner and cheering like a maniac for two of my favorite teams.

Have a stellar weekend.

The sun set at 6:19 this evening. Just enough time for me to quickly hit a bag of balls after work.

Trying to balance golf, career, and life, I follow sunsets on Wednesdays and Thursday with strong interest. You see, I get off work at 5:30 p.m. By the time, I navigate the back roads to the driving range nearest to my home, it’s nearly 6:00.

I play or practice golf twice a week. Once on the weekend, usually Saturday. And once mid-week, either Wednesday or Thursday.

In July, I could walk nine holes with ease—even hit a bag or two of balls afterwards. But these days, a brief traffic jam or a delayed exit from work could alter my early evening plans to hit a few range balls.

Image: Adam/Flickr

I love the fall. This season brings football and family holidays—some of the best times of the year. But it also brings the dreaded time change, which arrives in just three weeks. And while October weekends are ideal for playing, the weekdays have little to offer in terms of golf.

For those of us who work the standard 40 hour, 5 day work week, thirty minutes of practice on an October weekday is about all we can hope for.

But I’m determined to keep playing, somehow, throughout the fall. I want to reestablish my handicap for spring tournaments, to finally get some sort of feel in my short game (is it possible?), and not lose any progress I’ve made since rediscovering this sport in the spring.

Most amateur golfers hybernate in the winter. I’m going to try my best this fall and winter to stay as sharp as possible. Maybe I just need Jack Nicklaus to come build a course in my backyard.

So how do you handle the winter golf doldrums? Do you have a practice schedule? Do you play at all? Any advice?

This Christmas, invite the Golden Bear to build a course in your backyard. (Image:MatthwJ/Flickr)

Don’t you just dream of the day when you’ll have a custom designed Jack Nicklaus golf course in your backyard?

Well, wait no more. Tear down the patio, rip up the deck, move the grill to the garage. Because for a cool million dollars, you can indulge your golf fantasies with a three-hole track designed by one of the game’s greatest golfers–right in the comfort of your backyard.

Neiman Marcus has teamed with the Golden Bear to offer this Christmas gift for golfers who have apparently run out of things to spend their money on. Yeah, Wal-Mart and Target offer golf nets and cheap indoor putting greens. Neiman Marcus…um, they sell golf courses.

Says Neiman Marcus:

Jack will study topography, aerial photos, and landscape maps for the site, then send his team to survey the property. He’ll create a formal design plan and color renderings for up to three holes and a practice area, depending on the size of your back forty. Your construction crew builds from it, with supervision from Jack’s world-class design team (the same team pursued by premier club owners worldwide). Now to sink the winning putt; when your course is finished, the Golden Bear himself will stop by to play the first round with you, personally. More? He’ll sign his club and ball for your collection and throw in a custom set of Nicklaus clubs, including a personalized bag.

Oh, and if you visit the page, notice the copy at the bottom: “Construction and site preparation costs not included.” Probably another hundy thousand or two for that.

I’m picturing Jack’s design on my property, if I had an extra million to blow. The first hole, a 12 yard par 3 over a water drain. The second, an uphill 15-yard, dogleg right par 4 around a magnolia tree. And the finishing hole, a 14 yard par 4 with OB right and barking weiner dog left. I think I could take Jack on this baby.

I make fun, but I’d love to see this course once it’s finished. I just can’t fathom having the resources to do this. Let’s hope the crazed golfer who makes this purchase actually does have the resources to do this and isn’t cleaning out the mutual funds and taking out an exorbant HELOC loan. Golfers are a crazy breed, so you never know.

So you have less than three months. Start saving now.

Think I’m joking? Read more from Neiman Marcus.