My golf game reeks worse than a septic tank, a five-month-old stagnant port-a-john, a flaming pile of poo. My golf game sucks!

On the same day in which Y.E. Yang made history, chasing down The Great One to win his first major while becoming the first Asian-born player to capture a major championship, I beat my Titleist around 83 times to finish with a two round score of 164—bad enough to place 10th out of 16 golfers. How does 164 place tenth? Not a strong field, I guess.

ball in rough

Another wonderful lie in the rough. Round two. Eighteenth hole. (Image: Robert Bruce's iPhone)

If you would like to see the details of my destruction at the Music City Golf Association’s Club Championship, visit this site. Eight under (69-67) won the tournament by twelve shots.  Apparently, one guy was a player and the rest of us were pretty much hacks.

I’m certainly not going to be the shot-by-shot recap golfer, but I’ll simply say that, over the last two days, I struck my irons worse than in any other 36-hole period in my entire life. I hit nine greens in regulation over the two rounds of golf. Freaking awful.

Countless bogeys, two double bogeys and a snowman—that pretty much sums up my two days. I carded the snowman on the 14th hole yesterday. After knocking my drive out of bounds twice, I managed to make a nice up-and-down to save quadruple bogey.

The rough at Harpeth Hills is brutal. Miss the fairway by two feet and you are in the crap. It’s not that tall, but it’s extremely thick. I found said rough quite often over the weekend.

Golf is a fickle sport. On this same course, from the same tees, just a week ago, I shot 75. But I’ve never been a great tournament player, and I guess some things never change.

All that said, I’m taking a hiatus from golf. My half-marathon is in 47 days, and it’s been almost impossible to practice for this tournament while training for the half. I’m worn out. Matter of fact, the 83 shots I took yesterday made me more tired than the 8 miles I ran yesterday evening. Running is so simple. Golf is so complicated.

The blog will continue. But my game will not—at least for a couple of months. Who needs an 83 anyway?