The Distance Exaggerator is a pretty much a self explanatory fellow. But I’ll give you an example.
You’re on a sharp dog leg left par four that measures about 350 yards. The fairway turns almost 90 degrees at the 100 yard marker. So you have a decision. Pop your drive 250 yards out there, or fly the tree line and get closer to the green.
Now, most of us know that holes aren’t measured as the crow flies. The measurements follow the fairway. So, theoretically, if one was to land the ball on this green, one would not have hit a 350 yard drive, no matter how great a drive it would be.
The Distance Exaggerator, however, looks for any opportunity to inflate his ego. On the hole described above, this fellow lands his drive about 60 yards from green—probably a nice drive of 270 yards.
But, perhaps to compensate for a poor self-esteem or a lack of length in other areas, the Distance Exaggerator adds 30-40 yards, at least, on to every drive. So that 270 yard drive became a 310 yard drive simply because he’s within a pitch shot on a sharp dog leg par four.
In his own mind, the Distance Exaggerator is one of the longest hitters at his club. After all, his friends The Mulligan Golfer and Golf Channel Guy tell him so. In reality, he pokes his Titleist out there about 260 on a career day, giving myself and Corey Pavin company in the fairway.
The problem with the Distance Exaggerator is that he actually makes club selections based on his faulty sense of distance. Last summer, I played in a scramble with a guy who actually thought he could hit his lob wedge 110 yards. The guy was probably a 20-25 handicap. He swung out of his shoes with a lob wedge! The ball didn’t even sniff the flag—or the green.
The Distance Exaggerator—much like the Golf Channel Guy—talks a big game. Golfers who can actually hit 300 yard drives have no need to talk about it. They are used to bombing the ball. They have “been there, done that.”
But the Distance Exaggerator is like the dude in high school who always bragged about all his lady friends, when, in reality, he was sitting at home alone on Friday night, playing World of Warcraft and wondering if that stale dutch oven in his sheets smells as bad as last Friday night’s offering.
Let’s be honest. You’re not hitting 300 yard drives, buddy. You’re not even close.
Previous Golf Pet Peeves:
#4: Stewart Cink’s Green Shirt
#1: The Shot-By-Shot Recap Golfer
September 1, 2009 at 8:15 pm
[…] Here is the original post: Golf Pet Peeve #6: The Distance Exaggerator […]
September 2, 2009 at 10:57 am
The Exaggerator! One of my favorites.
A lot of guys come into the golf store looking at drivers and tell me they hit it 280-300 yards. I will rarely sell clubs unless I put them on the launch monitor (free) and they like it.
I cannot tell you how many of the long knockers have clubhead speed in the 80’s and how very few in the 100’s.
Their ball speed usually is in line with their CH speed. If your CH speed is in the 80’s, it is unlikely you are hitting it past 235 yards.
The same guys tell me their handicap is 18 but they definitely need ‘blades’, not those golf improvement irons like Ping, etc…
It’s a blast…
September 2, 2009 at 11:01 am
The “Blades” Guy!
Yes, there’s a new pet peeve right there. Those guys annoy me.
Funny stuff, One-Eyed. Thanks!
September 2, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Ewwwww – dutch ovens?! OK, Blair was right, this was a rather saucy blog post! Good heavens!
September 4, 2009 at 7:38 pm
I once saw a survey conducted on a Florida golf course on a hole with a wide, easy to hit fairway. As the numerous groups approached the tee they were asked to participate by estimating how far they hit their drives. After hitting they were asked if the shot was an example of their typical drive. Then they were measured. Almost all the time, from the shorter hitters to the bombers, they estimated 30-40 longer than actual.
September 4, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Good story, AG. The Distance Exaggerators are everywhere.
September 9, 2009 at 4:52 am
Ha! Nice stuff! the added problem I have with these guys is they often look for their ball as if they have bombed it 350yds! Often another golfer will soon be heard saying: “Hey, it’s back here!”
October 22, 2009 at 12:39 pm
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November 13, 2009 at 12:06 pm
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December 4, 2009 at 11:52 am
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January 5, 2010 at 2:51 pm
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February 5, 2010 at 9:16 am
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March 2, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Actually being a long hitter the distance exaggerator is a fun match. You can use their ego to get them to way under club especially on par 3’s.
Bring back balata balls and drivers with 180 cc heads on 43″ shafts 300 yards is a big deal. Pro V1 + 460 cc 46″ driver = meh.
March 4, 2010 at 10:40 am
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March 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm
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May 12, 2010 at 11:54 am
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