First off, I love golf course maintenance workers.
Much like cart guys, these fellows are the unsung heroes of the course. They are up at 5 a.m.—cutting grass, raking bunkers, trimming bushes, and repairing the hardly noticeable moose knuckle-sized divots on your greens.
Golf course maintenance workers are a dedicated bunch.
But there is a breed of maintenance worker unlike any other. If you’ve played golf for any length of time, you’ve had an experience with the Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Worker. One word describes this man: oblivious.
Usually, you’ll see him puttering down the cart path in the maintenance cart, rapidly approaching as you try to hit your tee shot. Or maybe he’s overagressively raking a bunker as you try to focus on a five-foot putt. Then there’s always the guy who seemingly stalks you for three or four holes, somehow managing to get in your line of sight before every shot.
Things get worse when Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Workers travel together. One of them is annoying, but a group of them together on one hole can be distracting, at best, and unbearable, at worst.
In each group of Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Workers, there’s an alpha-male. He’s the guy telling the inappropriate jokes as you line up your putt. He’s also the guy who speeds past you in the fairway as you go through your pre-shot routine. The golf course is his domain, and no golfer will get in his way.
Avoid the alpha-male at all costs.
Sometimes, Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Workers don’t listen to golfers.
Many years ago, my friend Mike (the same Mike from Chicken Soup for the Soul fame) and I were playing at our home course. After poking our drives on the first hole down the center of the fairway, Mike and I lined up our approaches.
But there was a problem. A group of maintenance workers—soon to be discovered as intrusive—had gathered on the fringe and were digging a hole to work on some irrigation issues.
We waited on them briefly, then gave them a courtesy yell that we were playing up. They waved at us and told us to come through. But they never moved.
I struck my 6 iron well, slightly pulled. And, like a politician runs to a camera, my golf ball barreled through the air directly towards this group of maintenance workers. I yelled “fore!” loudly, frustrated that these guys never moved off the fringe.
My ball struck one of the maintenance workers in the head. He sat down. His head began to bleed. Stitches were later required.
What do you say at this point? They knew we were hitting. We yelled “fore!” They watched us the entire time. But, for some reason, the intrusive maintenance workers never strayed away from the fringe and stood like statues after my boisterous warning.
I never felt to blame for the incident. But, in the weeks to follow, I received quite a few glares from my head-shot victim. He was okay. Eventually, the stitches came off.
So, here’s a fair warning to Intrusive Golf Course Maintenance Workers everywhere: Get out of our way and we won’t hit you in the head with our golf ball.
Previous Golf Pet Peeves
#4: Stewart Cink’s Green Shirt
#1: The Shot-By-Shot Recap Golfer
October 22, 2009 at 10:13 pm
ONce had to wait on a guy to mow the green in the middle of a club tournament! Can you not do that BEFORE the tournament starts?
October 23, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Maybe the grass was growing a little slower on that side? ;>
October 23, 2009 at 9:29 am
Even after you pegged the poor guy in the head (he waffled then dropped as I tell the story!)the rest of the crew still just stood there as I hit my approach. Pin was front left and there was a guy right on the left fringe not even 15 feet from the cup and I nearly hit him. The supervisor got real angry but come on – move already! However, if not for this incident I would not have this funny memory today. Good times!
October 23, 2009 at 9:46 am
Another one you never told your mom and I about! How many more?
October 23, 2009 at 10:06 am
I think you must seek these poor guys out. Is this the second guy you’ve hit? ;=)
October 25, 2009 at 12:08 pm
lol the perils of golf:)
October 31, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I have worked at a public course for over twenty years and…
yes the workers can be obstrusive but…they do have to get their work done.
I had the pleasure of working for the maintenence department for my last year and found that not all the workers were knuckleheads.
Actually, they impressed me.
Just a different side of the story.
November 5, 2009 at 11:39 am
Good input, Thomas.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I love golf course maintenance workers. They are the “unsung heroes.”
I’m talking about a small percentage of guys that are intrusive. Most of these guys have great etiquette.
May 15, 2012 at 3:57 am
why don’t you go and work as a maintenance worker on a course and see what kind of crap they/ we have to put up with day in day out then tell me who the inconsiderate ones are !!1
November 13, 2009 at 8:11 am
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May 12, 2010 at 11:54 am
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May 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm
golf course workers have stuff to get done. All of us at our course decided that if one of us gets hit with a ball we are all going to charge the dude that hit the ball…it’s golf etiquette. I hate golf, and i do that stuff you mentioned on purpose, it’s hilarious these old men are taking this fake sport too seriously. I have made alot of dudes mad but they won’t say anything cause im bigger than them.
May 23, 2013 at 3:30 pm
I knew a golf course maintenance man who was hit in the head by a poor player too. He died a few years later from the injury causing a stroke. Nothing to brag about…
June 9, 2014 at 12:40 pm
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